Messy Play For Matilda Mae

As we are currently away on a little break I have not had time to write this week's messy play post, however I wanted to put together a little one to share the fun we had. Ths week's theme set by Edspire was Pink & Purple.

I put together our water table and froze some pink & purple ice cubes with some little peaks inside. I added these to the water and gave them children some cups, spoons and a sieve for fishing and off they went.

They are quite familiar with water play now, in fact it's all I can do to stop Baby J jumping in before it's all set up! Although it did also see him standing on his own for a few seconds - a proud mummy moment!

I added some pink & purple food colouring to some shaving foam and gave them paintbrushes, just to add another element to the play. Here are a few photos from our fun.

The Last Few Months

The last few months have been challenging to say the least. We moved house in November, Little H turned two in December, Christmas, New Year and Baby J's Christening in February.

But by far the hardest months have been the last three - my dad noticing his raised lymph nodes, waiting weeks for a diagnosis, and finally told two weeks ago was stage 4 skin cancer.

In the meantime I have been finding things harder and harder. All of the above on top of managing two young children eighteen months apart. Children who do not know boundaries, do not know how to share, how to play, how to be 'good' and 'nice'. It has been frustrating to constantly say over and over and OVER 'put that down' 'give it back' 'stop doing that'. I know it's all part and parcel of being a parent, but when you are trying to manage two babies behaviour it is relentless. By the end of every day I am completely drained with nothing left in me.

All this had led to me being diagnosed with depression, starting anti-depressants and the beginning of counselling. This isn't the first time I have had depression, but this time it is different. If I get into a really bad place it doesn't just affect me, it affects my two little ones and I don't want that. Instead I've found myself cutting off from those emotions and often feeling like I'm just waiting. Waiting for a change. Waiting for a happiness. Even waiting for those tears that would normally fall so easily.

I am fearful that I will look back in a few years and have missed my babies growing up. I am so tired it is all I can do to get us dressed and fed most days, let alone trying to split myself into two continuously trying to play, settle disputes and educate them the way I hope to.

I guess there isn't much point to this post apart from to record how I feel at the moment, and maybe look back in a few weeks or months so I can see how I've progressed. I just hope most of all that this time does not have a negative effect on my children.

A Mile in Memory

Yesterday had been a few months in the making. We had planed, visited, sourced, tweeted, packaged and hoped that the day would be all it should. And it was.

Yesterday we walked a mile in memory. Memory of Matilda Mae, a beautiful nine month baby who tragically passed away three months ago to SID's.

Yesterday we donned our raincoats and wellies, brought our families together and met up as friends, to remember and to walk.

Yesterday we blew bubble kisses up to the sky.

Yesterday we remembered.

We are raising funds for The Lullaby Trust, previously FSID's, in memory of Matilda Mae. Please take a few minutes of your day to donate, or simply just text MMLT79 £1 to 70070.

The Matilda Mae Auction is now live - there are already some amazing things to be won and more prizes will be added every day!

I'd like to make special mention to Susanne at Ghostwritermummy who has worked tirelessy for many hours to bring all this together. It was beautiful.

 



Dino Land

Over the bank holiday we took the opportunity to include Mr H in some messy play. A while ago I bought some rubber dinosaurs and have been meaning to give some small world play a try. So I brought in the Tuff Spot and set it all up.

Walkers Hoops & Crosses Review

We are currently attempting to utilise a reward chart to encourage some nicer behaviour from H - she has been really struggling with sharing and gets very angry with Baby J so we have bought a few small toys and some stickers to try and encourage her to control herself a little better.

For those little moments of good behaviour we tend to give a little treat - a mini egg or piece of chocolate. We have recently been sent a packet of Walkers Hoops & Crosses to try out so they fit the bill for a little snack every now and again.

Fallen Logs

Today we had a lovely time just enjoying the outdoors. We visited our local National Trust property, Dunham Massey and armed with a blanket and a few nibbles we set out.

H loved the freedom of being able to roam where she wanted and we saw lots of lovely nature as we ambled along, including ducks and deer.

There were lots of fallen logs that had been left in inviting piles so of course we had to have a little play amongst them - even Pops couldn't resist a climb!

We enjoyed our little picnic in the woods and Baby J enjoyed some buggy-free time. I am looking forward to the next few months when he begins to walk as he hates being strapped in and I can sense how much he would love to be running alongside his sister.

The sun only popped out behind the clouds for a minute here and there but it was relatively warm and it was great just to get outside.

A Messy Cake Smash for Matilda

On May 2nd Matilda Mae should have turned one year old. Instead her heartbroken parents wish her farewell and sent her ashes out to sea in a little balsa wood boat.

This week's messy play post was inspired by this little girl. The day before my mum helped me bake some buns and buttercream (I am such a tragic baker that I can't even makes cupcakes) and I bought some pink frosting, marshmellows and star sprinkles.

Happy Birthday Little Star

Today a beautiful little girl should be turning one. She should be celebrating an amazing year. Her family should be having a party, buying balloons and eating cake. Instead her family will be saying goodbye as her ashes as sent out to sea. It is a terrible tragedy; it is so unfair.

Today I would like to send all my love to Jennie and her family. We will be remembering Baby Tilda today and I will be holding my babies tightly.

Sometimes life is far too short.

Happy Birthday Baby Tilda, you have inspired us in so many ways.



On 11th May until 20th May an auction to remember Matilda Mae's will be held. All funds raised will go to The Lullaby Trust in Matilda's name and there have been some amazing prizes donated. Head over to Edspire and Ghostwritermummy for more information.

Review: Polarn O. Pyret

I am always on the look out for new brands to try out so when I heard about Polarn O. Pyret I was excited to give them a try. We were sent a lovely red cardigan and matching leggings for Little H and Baby J received a polo T-shirt.

Family Time

This weekend my sister and her boyfriend came to visit. After a night of a few drinks, some fresh air was just what we needed to brush the cobwebs away, so we donned our coats and shoes and head outside.

Because we often have the children plus buggies when we go for a walk, we are quite limited to where we can go, but today H walked and we put Baby J in his carrier on Mr H so we could do a bit of exploring.

It was really great as there are lots of fields near us when we manage to get off the beaten track, and it was nice and quiet.

H loved the freedom to run but I think she loved having her Auntie L to run after more. They played chase, hide and seek and piggy backs and it was lovely to watch. I'm looking forward to the future years when both children will run after each other and we can all go on these walks more often.

As my family are over the Pennine's I don't always see my sister as much as I like, so I do cherish these moments together.

 

 

Sea Creatures

I seem to have had water beads sat on my worktop for weeks now! They have so many uses and I have been reluctant to throw them away. However I think Mr H has got sick of seeing them, so as one last playtime I picked out all the water colours (which took ages!) and created a little ocean scene for H.

I added her sea creatures to the beads, along with some shaving foam for effect and away she went.

H is still at an age where she needs showing to play sometimes, so I got into it myself and we made a story where the baby seal had gone missing and mummy seal tried to find it, encountering sharks and such along the way. She thought this was great fun and once I had taken my turn she was quite happy to reenact the story herself, with different animals.

She wasn't so keen on the shaving foam at first and wanted her hands wiping, but once I showed her that it didn't matter if her hands got a little messy she seemed to forget about it and got carried away in her play.

This was a very quick playtime to set up and kept her entertained for quite a while. It was also fun for mummy to join in!

 

Today Ghostwritermummy is hosting Messy Play for Matilda Mae, so head over there and give her some love!

Kiddy Guardianfix Pro 2 Review

As Baby J is now ten months and quite a little chunk, I decided it was time to set about getting him a new car seat. He hates being strapped into anything, but the car seat in particular has been a fight for quite some time now, he tends to go rigid and screams, refusing to let me strap him in. He has never been a fan of rear-facing, I'm not sure if its because he can't see anything, or because H is forward facing, or maybe it's just car seats in general, but I decided to change him to forward facing.

After looking around for advice I found most parents seemed to highly recommend the Kiddy. It is not a brand I had heard of before, but as I wanted something lightweight, forward facing and preferably isofix, I found their Guardianfix Pro 2 fit the bill exactly. At first I wasn't sure about their innovative impact shield, over the usual 5-point harness, however when I read further I decided to give it a try.

Kiddy have actually been around for over 30 years. They are a company that pride themselves on their innovative products, and the impact shield is just one example of this. The impact shield is made of highly shock-absorbing materials and offers impact protection in the event of a head-on collision. The risk of dangerous neck injuries is reduced by the fact that the impact forces are directed into the impact shield, and this prevents the baby's head from being abruptly thrown forward or backward, as in a child seat with a conventional shoulder harness.

The Guardianfix Pro 2 is a group 1, 2, 3 car seat, suitable for children from the ages of approximately nine months to twelve years old (weight: 9-36kg, approx 20-80lb). It comes in 13 different designs, we chose a neutral colour of Denim. The breathable fabric is lovely and soft, plus it can easily cleaned when Baby J inevitably drops biscuit crumbs all over it!

Both babies having a try

First of all I found the Kiddy unbelievably light. As we will be swapping it between my car and Mr H's on a weekend, this was great as it makes transferring so much easier. Because it is isofix there is no messing around with seatbelts or trying to figure out complicated fixings. It is simply a matter of clicking it in place and go! What unnerved me a little at first was the impact shield. As it was a completely different way of strapping them in - you simply put the impact shield in place, fasten the seatbelt over the front and make sure it is strapped across the impact shield properly. And that's all folks!

Baby J was, and still is, not completely sure about the shield. It is quite bulky and he sometimes looks like his arms are stuck out awkwardly. However despite this he has fallen asleep every time he has been in it.

Even Little H had a turn and she too was in land of nod after a short time. I think as it is so different it will take a bit of getting used but I feel confident that it provides the best safety and fits our needs exactly.

The Guardianfix Pro 2 grows with the child and lasts from nine months to twelve years, which means that although it may seem a big cost up front (aren't all car seats?!), it is one you will not have to do again for a number of years. The seat adjusts to fit the child, from the head restraint that can fit to height and width, to the leg extension which can be adapted as the child grows.

All Kiddy car seats are EEC approved, and comply with the latest European safety requirements. They also meet British Standard 5852 which affects fire retardency of the fabric covers, so you can feel safe in the knowledge that these seats have been thoroughly tested.

I am more than happy with this car seat and would definitely opt for a Kiddy again. It is lightweight, easy to use, stylish and most importantly it is safe. Check out their Facebook page for more from Kiddy.

*I have been sent this product for free to review, however all opinions are my own.